Present Day

I made my way to the Loaded Run and lurked out the back like a fat kid stealing sweets, sweating and looking forward to the good stuff.

I knew when Tommy got off and was waiting for him. The back door opened into the disturbingly familiar smelling alley, light and noise spilling out hungrily into the night air. Tommy stood there a moment, framed by the light, talking to someone inside. The door snapped shut, the night huffing back into place like a disturbed cat.

As he made his way towards me I spoke softly into the night air, trying to not disturb it. “Tommy. Why have you been holding out on me?”

One hand on the peacemaker, the other shrugged into my coat trying to avoid the bite of the air, the chill was starting to really set into my stunted legs. He stopped, no flinching or surprise on his face. I fought the urge to step further back into the darkness as when Tommy is inside, surrounded by the gleaming brass and the tassels on his little uniform it is easy to forget his 7 ft tattooed frame. Out here, accusing the man who I counted as one of my closest friends I was reminded that his fist could easily eclipse my head.

We stood there, the soft night swirling around us, the smell enveloping us.

“Tommy?” I wish I didn’t sound so hurt. This whole thing had been dredging up memories I thought had long since been buried.

The faint sound of an argument reached us, not breaking the silence, extending it. He just stared at me. I knew now I was not wrong, I just hoped I was not making a mistake. My ribs creaked as I settled onto my heels.

He started to rumble to life.

“Holding out, yes. Lying, no. That is important Sol.” His usually booming voice dampened. He paused. “Important to me and I hope you see that as well.”

His arms came up and I resisted the urge to make a stupid mistake and kept the Peacemaker snuggled in my pocket. He crossed his arms against his broad chest. It was my turn. I knew what I wanted but not how to ask it. If he had really betrayed me years ago then he was probably still on the take now. Although I still had not figured out why. He had been on the straight for years now, he prided himself on it. Also I was never so crass as to bring up what I had done for him.

What I had done for him. It sparked. I felt stupid. Stupid and ashamed.

“Your kids” I breathed.

There was a hint of a shrug.

“If I talk and you don’t respond, whatever deal you have could still hold?” The barest flicker of his eyes.

“You put me onto the Barley Boys. Although I now think you wouldn’t have done that if you knew I was going to get somewhere. You couldn’t help yourself though could you?”

A faint grunt, I pushed on.

“Do you know where…” He shifted his weight “okay, okay.” I was on the right track, finally. “No crews, that is too obvious.”

“I can end this Tommy. I am going to say a place, you don’t need to say anything just…” I cast about trying to think through how I can get him to confirm this without breaking the unknown promise “just. Take a swing at me if I am wrong.” My freshly broken nose raised a protest at his planet sized fists. I breathed in.

“The Sunken Grand?” and closed my eyes and concentrated.

The pain never came.

Silence, finally broken by the soft sound of “My Kids, anything happens to them Sol…” As Tommy walked past me and disappeared into the evening.

Back in my shambles of a home office, the music still filling the air, longing for a brew in my grip. 3Ball. Another Levi Prime. Betrayed by Tommy who had been feeding information on my progress the entire time. I shook my head, every man had his price.

If 3Ball knew I was coming then he would go to ground and I would never hear from him again. If I showed my face then it would get a short, sharp and mostly terminal rebuke. I did not know how long Tommy would hold out sharing what he knew with the Seeker, I did not know the full details of their deal.

This couldn’t be like Bronski, going in dick waving or the Barley Boys were I knew I was relatively safe. I could always….

No. I knew what I needed to do, what I should have done all those years ago. What I swore to myself I would never do again. I had made my choices.

Standing up I felt my legs twinge, memories of him flooding my mind. God, how long since I had seen him. I wished he was here now, I ached. Removing my over coat and folding it gently I place it on the chair. Making my way to my desk I fish around at the back of one of the drawers and pulled out a dusty pack of incense. The smell instantly transporting me back to another life. Lighting and settling it into the cradle on my desk I started to clear a space on the floor for me to sit.

Sitting and breathing steadily I thought about the day, of the pain I felt when realising that Tommy had sold me out. Of missing my friend. Of the choices I needed to make. Of the drinking and destruction. I breathed deeply.

I had to finish this. I had to deal with 3Ball. There was only one way I could do it with certainty. Looking inward I begun searching. It had been years since I had done this, I knew what I was looking for. Who I was looking for.